We all do feel like a failure at some point in our life. Now, do not deny it out of ego, which sometimes we name it as our self-respect. The worst we can do to ourselves is to live in denial. It is important for us to accept our failures to appreciate our achievements.
Now, people who know me as an actor don’t know that I didn’t always dream to become an actor and come to Bollywood. I actually wanted to become an air-hostess. That was my only dream I had after my college. I wanted to fly and travel in my life; wanted to visit different countries and meet different people. That was my only dream.
So, I started checking on how I can get there. One day, I saw a recruitment advertisement from Indian Airlines. Without any delay, I filled in the application form and sent it to the specified address. Indian Airlines in those days being a government airline had a very tough recruitment process. First, they had an all-India written exam. If you pass that exam then, on the second round, they would call you for a group discussion (GD), followed by a personal interview and medical test.
After a few days, I had received one letter mentioning my written exam date and venue. I prepared myself and went for it. I passed the exam with a very good score and then after a few days I received another letter with my GD, personal interview and medical test dates and venue. I was so excited, that finally I am getting closer to my dream job.
Ok, I forgot to mention one very important point that when I saw the recruitment ad, apart from all other steps I needed to follow, it also had information on physical fitness and eye sight requirement. My eye sight was perfect as per the requirement but I was physically not fit. My body weight was 74 kg the day I saw the ad on a newspaper. So, along with preparing myself for the written exam, I also started working out rigorously. I even changed my diet plan and started losing extra body weight.
From the day I sent my application followed by the written exam, group discussion and personal interview, it took around 9 months overall. If you have ever given any government job exam, you know how long the process continues. So, within 9 months I had the target of reducing my weight from 74 to 54 kg. I did every possible thing and with a lot of dedication and hard work I reached 57 kg. On the day of medical test my weight was 57 kg (125.6 lb).
I passed the written exam, GD and personal interview with very good scores. I even passed my eye sight test. The final requirement was the height to weight proportion check and I was 3 kg more, so they made me fail the medical test. I literally begged the examiners to please take me in. I had lost 17 kg (37.4 lb) in 9 months to get my dream job and I was just one more step away from getting it. They were supposed to put all the passed candidates into a 3 month training program before sending them on board. I requested them to please put me into the training and I will reduce those extra 3 kg and even more in 3 months of training period. But, rule is a rule. They stuck to the rule. I failed!
And I felt like a complete failure. I was devastated that I lost everything. The only dream I had, I lost. Life looked so worthless. I went into a depression mode. Today I can imagine that probably it was so scary for my parents to see me in that condition. I stopped talking completely.
Then one day, my mom and my sister found another advertisement on that same newspaper and that advertisement was published from an acting institute. Both my mom and sister wanted to bring me out of depression, so they showed me the ad and convinced me that I should do this acting course. They just thought, probably this will divert my mind.
I went and took admission for the course and that was the time when I was about to get introduced to a whole new World in that period of my life when I was feeling that my life was so worthless. I didn’t realise when, from just mere enjoyment while learning about this new World, I literally fell for it. Liking changed into loving and then obsessing and gradually realising the passion in me for Cinema. It was not a childhood dream and neither did it happened to me in one day when I was an adult.
From the day I was introduced to Acting, a new passion grew within me. I had a new goal, a new dream in front of me. Life looked beautiful and purposeful again. I never even dreamt of seeing Salman Khan and Aamir Khan in person and see how my failure had led me to work with those two living legends. So, as I said, it is important for us to accept our failures to appreciate our achievements.
Never think that you have lost it all because you can’t lose it all. Thousands of things are around you. Losing one means that you just got to find another to make it your next dream. You may fail once, twice or multiple times. How does it matter? Still, this World has a lot to give you and you have a lot to give back to this World!